Trying to find ambition

Its a daunting task. I have SO much to get done, for the holiday season, but instead of ticking stuff off of my list of "to do's" I am just adding to it.. and I just cannot find the will to do anything... Could be the lack of rest, the fact that my kids take turns in napping, or the lack of "free time" to actually dig in and get done. I want to find my holiday spirit.. this is my favorite time of year. I hope I find some motivation before December 1st.

A sappy post, but with good perspective

Last week I found out my grandmothers old boss of over 30 years passed away. (I know, just a boss) but she was more than that.. close knit neighborhood, she owned a KOA Kampground (can't stand the sp blah lol) with an arcade, we as kids, spent many summer days playing there, getting free ice cream and slush puppies etc. Yup.. I cried. (she was really old, and not doing well.. so it was gonna happen soon anyway), and I just a few minutes ago found out this past Friday, my Great Great Uncle (yes, my Grandfathers uncle) had passed away. I remember that Uncle for many summer days spent at our families camp in the Adirondacks.. lots of fun times. I hate death. hate it hate it.. so of course, I am crying again. On another note.. I am not upset that they are gone (they lived FULL lives,a nd many happy times) but its just sad.. to see chapters come to an end... almost like the end of a super good book series. Our family doesn't mourn death.. we celebrate the life that they had.. and that is what I plan to do.. but in the meantime.. I will just sit here and be sad. :(